get your shine on!

It has been a while since I sat down and wrote an entry on here.  I've been doing a lot more writing by hand in my journal so I guess that has sort of been a substitute.  Here is an update on the last month or so of my life!

The beginning of June was busy as I was preparing for finals and wrapping up the school year.  It's hard to believe my first year of college is done!!  I ended up with solid grades that placed me on the Dean's List all three quarters.  I couldn't have imagined a better start to my college career!  Even more importantly, I met the best people while at Eastern that have changed my life.

The dorm life was a priceless experience that I am thankful I had the opportunity to have.  It's not everyday you can prop your door open, welcome in anyone that walks by, and make friends with so many people.  I definitely miss seeing everyone at all hours of the day, sharing meals, watching movies, just doing life together.  Cerstan, Mary, and Amanda were great roommates and we all became good friends!  That was definitely a blessing, considering how rare it is for a bunch of girls to live in close quarters and not clash.  I love them!  We were also lucky to have the best guy for a CA (the person in charge of our floor.)  Nick's definitely great at his job as he is welcoming, friendly, and just wants to be there for anyone who needs him.  I am lucky enough to call him one of my best friends as well!  The countless neighbors I can now call friends are all unique with a variety of backgrounds and upbringings.  Such great people to be introduced to!  All that to say, I thank God every day for the individuals I've been lucky enough to cross paths with, especially in Cheney.   I can't wait to see them in the fall!

Mid June I drove back to Meridian to live here for the summer.  This is the first time in 7 years that I haven't spent the majority of summer break in Austin with my dad and Chrissy.  (I'm looking forward to seeing them for a week in August!)  It's been nice to catch up with the friends and family I missed while living in WA this year!  Living at home with my mom, Greg, Gabbi and Hayden has been fun.  Love having lots of home cooked meals for sure!!!  Before starting my new job for the summer it was nice to be able to relax and settle in for a couple weeks.

I was hired on as a caregiver at Tomorrow's Hope when I interviewed this spring.  I work in a group home helping out people that have special needs.  As a lot of people know, I was a peer tutor in the extended resource room at school for 7 years and it made quite the impact on me!  When I graduated, there was a hole left in my heart as the students had become such a huge part of my life.  It is nice to be in a similar setting where I can serve those that are so unique and deserve to be loved on.  I just finished my 2nd week and I have already learned so much!  I'm working over 40 hours a week, early mornings and sometimes physically and emotionally challenging situations.  It is definitely hard work but I'm thankful for the opportunity that is growing and stretching me in so many ways.  I have some wonderful coworkers and am grateful for how patient and welcoming they have been!

This has already been a summer to remember.  I am growing and being challenged daily as God is constantly at work in my life and all around me.  He is continually reminding me that it is not about me or other people, but rather about Him.  When you seek HIM first, all else will be given to you, provided for you.  Trying to do things in your own strength only leaves you exhausted and falling short.  He is teaching me how to love and forgive those who have hurt me as that is something I'm not fully capable of myself.  He is teaching me to trust Him without borders, regardless of what the day brings.  He makes me whole!  Settling for the path of lesser resistance may be easier, but you miss out on the complexity, growth, and wisdom that is gained by traveling the more challenging road.  Each day may not be fun or feel good, but if I am learning something it is a day that has not been wasted.  I'm thankful for the potential that each moment holds!  Looking forward to the days remaining in summer full of meaning and memories!

In Him,
Morgan

my heart is full.

It's incredible what the heart is capable of feeling.  Whether the emotions are positive or negative, uplifting or caused by hurt, I am amazed by the wide range of feelings I have experienced recently.  The past week has involved numerous circumstances that brought on different emotions. 

First of all, a very full, busy week of school can be stressful to say the least.  Studying, writing papers and taking tests are not at the top of my list of things I'd like to do but sometimes we have to make things that we don't really enjoy doing a priority in our schedule.  This week felt very overwhelming with my to do list jam packed and not a huge desire to be motivated.  As it has helped me throughout the last few years, the "one day at a time" approach got me through my busy week. 

This week I also had a doctors visit in hopes of figuring out why some lymph nodes are swollen on my head.  This was the 5th doctor I'd seen for the same issue so my heart was anxiously awaiting to hear what this one had to say.  It's uncomfortable when something physical is occurring for unknown reasons.  It was nice to hear that the doctor is not concerned but I still had a biopsy done and it has been a roller coaster of emotions.  I'm glad to know the doctor isn't worried and I am reminded that this world and body are flawed and temporary.  Regardless, God is good and I am blessed!

On Friday morning, Amanda and I decided to drive home for a quick visit this weekend to surprise our families.  Gabbi turned 15 on Saturday so I was especially excited to surprise her!  A wave of a emotions came over me as I approached my house and walked up to the door.  Seeing friendly faces who were thrilled to welcome me was a great feeling, so exciting!

Lastly, and most important to me, I am always awestruck by my heart's ability to love and feel loved.  Whether it is family, friends, acquaintances, or a special someone, my heart overflows with love because of the relationships I have been blessed to have in my life.  My favorite days are those spent with people who help my heart grow, heal, and feel content and challenged.  God continually surprises me with the capacity he gives me to care about a person and view them as He does...so beautiful and important. 

As I start this next week and reflect on the last, I am reminded that the moments that count are those spent with the people I love most.  I never know what situations I will face or what emotions will arise, but I'm learning to just take them as they come, embrace them, and learn from them!  I am one blessed girl.  

Here's to a great week!

trust without borders

Today in church we sang a song that is fairly new to me called Oceans by Hillsong United.  The lyrics are so very rich and give a lot to think about.  I thought since it is Sunday, I would share a bit of what is going on in my heart today.

Having a sister who is musical, I have come to understand the different parts of a song.  The bridge of this one is my favorite part!  Here are the lyrics.

"Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders.
Let me walk upon the waters,
wherever you may call me.
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
and my faith will be made stronger
in the presence of my Savior."

Today I realized that to read, speak, sing those words is a big deal.  To ask God to lead you to a place where your "trust is without borders"....to pray that God will truly lead you to where he is calling.  It is a beautifully terrifying decision to make.  It's a choice to everyday recognize you are alive for a reason and it is up to you if you decide to see the opportunities around or pass them by.

I have numerous challenges in my life that I face each day and I'm realizing the power I have in choosing the method to approach them.  Today I was reminded that to ask God to lead me and take me deeper won't be the easy route.  It is the challenging path that requires faith and perseverance and courage.  It also takes patience and trust.  Even though it includes going through storms, God reminded me that in those storms He can help me walk upon the waters in the midst of it all.  Through the wind and waves and calm moments too, my faith can be strengthened. 

In a conversation today I was describing the impact some of life's circumstances have had on me.  After talking about how difficult some of it has been to walk through, I concluded that I have been incredibly blessed.  It seems so backwards but in hindsight I have learned an immeasurable amount of lessons and I have grown.  I could have been very negatively influenced by the hardships but somehow I have been bettered by them.  The lyrics in the song today fit together with that idea.  Even though its not always a smooth ride, when we allow God to be in control we are bettered by the storms and get to amazing experience things (like walking on water maybe?)

In my heart this day, I choose to accept the challenge of allowing God to lead me and take me deeper to a place where my trust is without borders.  The ride may be bumpy, but it is so worth it!

In Him,
Morgan

cars, problems, and perspective

Amanda has not had very good luck with her car this year.  When we arrived back in Washington after spending a month in Idaho for Christmas, we checked her car only to find a completely dead battery.  After replacing the battery (which ended up being not very cheap, by the way) her car was back to working condition!  Hooray!  Or so we thought....

After a couple of months the Granny-mobile decided to crap out on us again.  With another jump start, back to Les Schwab we went!  They told us that they had made a mistake connecting the battery the first time which drained it until it completely lost charge.  Anyways...

We were golden!  For about two weeks at least.  Her car decided to not start again so we thought third time had to be the charm!  Today we went back down to Les Schwab to get her straightened out.  They said it was unclear what the issue was so they replaced the battery again (luckily it is still under warranty.)

You may be thinking, where is she going with this?  Why does this matter?  I have just been giving it a lot of thought today.

Sometimes in life we don't have all the answers.  It's unnerving to not know why something is happening or what will happen next.  At times the reasons for the circumstances are unknown and the steps to move forward are not completely clear.  I have learned recently that I can't plan for everything in my life.  Sometimes the "battery dies" at the most inconvenient times--its something you can't predict or plan for.  What you can control though, is how you respond to it.  Its easy to get really frustrated and flip out, but that doesn't really help anyone.  I am learning that the best thing to do in situations is to just roll with it.

Every single situation presents the opportunity to learn something.  For example, experiencing this has given us a chance to learn about cars!  In life, facing struggles, challenges, or simply having bad days always holds the potential to learn.  Attitude and perspective are everything!

I will lift my eyes

Even though I consider myself to be a sunshiny person most of the time, there are moments that just feel cloudy.  There are days when the stress is at a higher level, there are deadlines to meet, things to clean, errands to run, people asking you to do things, and a mental checklist begins to form. 

There is a country song that says "Sunday was the day of rest, now its one more day for progress..."  I discussed with my family this morning the beauty of Sundays.  Church, brunch, fellowship and rest time seem to always be part of my routine, making it a favorite day of my week.  Sunday is suppose to be for relaxing and refueling for the week ahead...right?

All that being said, when I looked to the week ahead, my stress level began to rise and I became overwhelmed.  After a heated conversation today, I decided I needed some alone time.  As I drove to our local Starbucks a song came on the radio with the lyrics "I will life my eyes to the Maker of the mountains I can't climb..."  So often do I attempt to approach and do things in my own strength.  Whether it is studying for a test, doing housework, or maintaining a relationship, I will always fall short.  I look at those "mountains" and start to formulate a plan to climb (or go around) them.  I think this is the step in which the stress starts to occur.

When I heard the song on the radio today I was reminded that I don't face anything alone.  It isn't up to me to have all the answers or to know the next step, let alone the steps of the whole journey.  Allowing some of the weight to be taken from MY shoulders allows the stress and pressure to be lifted and lessened.

I talked to my sweet friend on the phone today about this very subject.  She said that instead of making a to do list for myself, I should look to God to see what HE has for me this day, this week, etc.  It's refreshing to take a step back and recognize that some things are so small in the eternal spectrum.  What is more important--taking advantage of the opportunities put in front of me or worrying about insignificant things such as cleaning the house?  Not to say that there is not a time for those little things, they can be good!  But it's helpful to recognize that some things just don't matter in light of eternity.  I've been reminded today that Sundays (and each day) are a gift to make the most of, to do the things that are truly valuable. 

In Him,
Morgan

Discipline? No thanks!

Discipline is never fun.  I just cringe when I hear the word.  It seems like no matter the case, the word discipline comes with a negative connotation.  I came upon this picture today and in such simple terms Disney communicates a huge truth that is sometimes not so fun to accept.

Webster's Dictionary defines discipline in multiple ways.  The first is something along the lines of punishment.  A second definition is "to train or develop by instruction."  I think when people hear the word discipline they automatically think of getting in trouble, paying consequences like the first definition leads you to believe.  What I have come to experience are the benefits of discipline, especially when the second definition is the perspective I've taken.

When I was younger, my parents would occasionally need to discipline me when I was acting contrary to what was right. (I was QUITE the trouble maker:) )   I think that as a child it was easy to be mad or angry toward them because I thought they were being mean.  I was viewing discipline the way I defined it first, as punishment. Little did I know, my parents were attempting "to train or develop by instruction" so that their daughter could learn and be molded into a more well rounded human being.  Out of love, their discipline was intended for GOOD, not harm! 

I think of situations everyday where I face that kind of training.  The discipline may not be from my mom or dad and it may look different, but it is still a present, active tool used to keep shaping me.  In a physical circumstance, I find the journey to remain healthy to be a journey of staying disciplined.  There are days (sometimes weeks) where I would really rather not go to the gym, but because of the training I realize the habit is a good one.  I have been disciplined for the better!

Spiritual discipline has shown itself in a couple of ways in my life.  First, learning to have a consistent routine of reading my Bible, praying, etc. has been an important discipline to form.  Secondly, there is a different discipline I find to be even more challenging.  Just like my parents correcting me out of love, to help "develop by instruction" my character, God does the same thing.  Because He is a loving and caring Father, He is not afraid to discipline His children when He knows what is best for them.  I read something once that stated that God's biggest concern is with the quality of our character.  It is all we get to take with us when we leave this broken world, so He wants it to be in the most tip top shape possible.

Even though discipline isn't fun, the impact changes people for the better.  Just like in the Lady and the Tramp, firm discipline results in growth and development.  In Hebrews 12:11 it states:  No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful.  Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. 

If you are in a season of discipline, by encouraged!  If you just keep walking, it will be worth it in the end!

let's give this a go!

Hello friends!

I've been spending a lot of time these days in thought about the things going on around me and in my life specifically.  I have always been taught that writing things down can help sort out and process them so I decided this could be a good tool for that--not to mention it can let you into my head and heart a little bit too! 

One of the things that makes my heart smile the most is having the opportunity to help others, listen to their stories, brighten their day, etc.  I decided to name my blog "let me lend a Hand" because that's what I hope I can do.  Even if you can't relate to every part of my writing I hope it can at least lend a hand toward making your day a bit better or possibly allow you to gain a different perspective.  (and of course, the phrase is a play on my last name!)

A big lesson I have been learning recently has to do with being aware of the people around me.  Everywhere there are people, you will find hearts, stories, and situations that are unspoken.  I have been challenged lately to pause long enough to consider that behind every face I see there are so many things I don't know.  Trials, successes, mistakes, dreams that have brought the individual to the place they are today.  It is easy to become consumed by the test I have next week, the application I need to get turned in, the hurt I have in my heart, etc, and fail to think about what may or may not be occurring in someone else's life. 

This week has been a wonderful and humbling one because of the numerous chats over coffee, during which I have been privileged enough to get a glimpse of such beautiful hearts.  There is no way I would rather spend my time!  I believe that God is always at work around me and I have a renewed desire to see that work and join in and be part of it.  These are exciting days...some more difficult than others...but exciting nonetheless and I am determined to see good in the midst of every situation, every day.  This blog thing is new to me but I'm hoping to keep it up and give it a go!  I may be hit and miss and no promises that it will be happy and sunshiny all the time, but I hope you will journey with me!

In Him,
Morgan